Gordonites are, on the whole, ecstatic about the new Adams Center of Music and express their gratitude towards the wealthy donors whose sizable estate made a construction project of such grandeur possible. Yet reception to the “exploding piano that kills everyone” has been […]
Plankton constitute the bottommost echelon in the food chain of any aquatic ecosystem, and by virtue of this fact they were worshipped by many ancient cultures. Gordon College’s drinking water has long been praised for […]
What has two thumbs and is being captured in droves in the idyllic sylvan expanses of the Gordon Woods? The answer to that question is the hairless squatch, a close relative of the classic sasquatch that may be readily differentiated therefrom by its hairlessness. A […]
A coalition of disgruntled students anonymously contacted the Tartan in a letter detailing their outrage that the administration continues to ignore the sudden and inexplicable disappearance of beloved professor Cuthbert Q. Cackleberry, who up until […]
An exceedingly reputable source has undertaken great risk to furnish this team of reporters with a classified memorandum from the desk of one Michael D. Hammond. This scrap of paper details renovations to the campus so abrupt, so unforeseen, so grand in scale, so newsworthy that at least one of our members audibly gasped […]
Capable and adroit reporters at the Tartan have uncovered that the spate of recent outages was not the result of Michael “Mike” Hammond forgetting to pay the electric bill, as was previously believed. It was […]
Several Gordon students have come forth with shocking accounts of an enigmatic creature they witnessed on Coy Pond in the past several weeks. These reports are so outrageous, so astounding, so alarming, that the history […]
Becca Shemenski ‘28 How does a seven-foot-tall mascot go missing one day? That has been the question on a great number of Gordon College students’ minds for the past year. Scottie has been missing from […]
This semester, finals have been much closer to Christmas than usual, slowly eating away at students’ winter break time. For athletes who have to return to campus even sooner, their break will be only a […]
The housing lottery is always changing. This year in particular brought some big adjustments, like having the lottery in-person, or requiring students to write an essay to apply for an apartment. However, many students were […]
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